Talk about going to the gym

Talking about going to the gym is fantastic, especially if you do it between February and December, inclusive. You are basically subtexting that you are better than everyone who has given up on his or her New Year’s resolution, or everyone who wants to lose weight/gain weight/look good but doesn’t do anything about it, which is basically everyone. Also, it’s really easy to do. You can do it on days you are planning on going to the gym and talk about what you are going to do at the gym that day. You can do this on days after you go to the gym and either celebrate or fake complain about your last workout. Heck, you can even wait two days and just complain about DOMS.

  I definitely googled "Super Gym" and this was definitely the best result. You can buy it on a t-shirt. ( img src )

I definitely googled "Super Gym" and this was definitely the best result. You can buy it on a t-shirt. (img src)

That sounds like all you’d need to seem impressive, right? Like, we’ve done our job already. WRONG. Here at HTSI, we are all about taking it to the next level. Here are things to mention when you talk about going to the gym. Each one is one extra impressiveness point.

  • What you did during your last workout

  • What you are going to do during your next workout

  • Where you are sore

  • Where you aren’t sore

  • Where you want to be sore

  • Your general workout routine/schedule

  • What lifting/running/swimming/etc form you are working on

  • Your views on cardio vs. strength training

  • What you eat on your diet

  • What you don’t eat on your diet

  • What you eat that you aren’t supposed to be eating on your diet

  • Where you get your workout clothes

  • Your (hot?) spin instructor

  • The pump (somewhat NSFW)

  • How you are taking it to the next level

Also, obviously, the points aren’t real and don’t matter. More might not be better, I don’t know. Also, you can generally replace the gym with other exercise - basketball, tennis, golf, cycling, running, swimming, yoga maybe, hiking, rowing, fencing, rugby, chess boxing, you know the list is long. The secret is just talking about looking good without necessarily looking good.

“But what if I don’t go to the gym?” you might be asking. Well, you can lie. Or, start going to the gym. I don’t know, I don’t have this problem. Chris might. Maybe he will write about that.